A Lesson In Anger

Think of the last time you acted out in anger.

My guess is you felt SO frustrated, emotionally charged, steam coming out of both ears kind of anger. Perhaps this resulted in shouting, belittling/put down horrible language, swearing unnecessarily, physical attack, eyes flooding in tears? Later on you may have regretted what was said… how loud it was projected only moments after… am I right? If not perhaps you have already learnt a few lessons with anger and can now channel it in others ways.

“Use your anger for good. Anger to people is like gas to the automobile – it fuels you to move forward and get to a better place. Without it, we would not be motivated to rise to a challenge. It is an energy that compels us to define what is just and unjust.”
― Arun GandhiThe Gift of Anger

I am going to let you in, and take you back to a pretty freaking angry time in my life… On a daily basis I was experiencing pure anger stemmed from many interrelated reasons. I can only describe my anger as

  • the kind where my heart took a hold of my whole being, my entire body would pulse with each heart beat, shake with each and every inhale.
  • my mind was full of hateful words, a lot of them were spoken too…
  • I lashed out, broke things, swore, screamed.

In the seconds that would follow these anger inspired actions I would feel a little momentary relief, like I needed to let go but almost immediately a tidal wave much bigger of regret would swell in. A deep regret of how I had let him (anger) win over love and over patience.

“A man of few words will rarely be thoughtless in his speech- he will measure every word.”

I had never had a lesson in anger (not many of us do) until a few weeks ago when I read “The Gift of Anger” by Arun Gandhi (Mahatma Gandhi’s grandson). Ever since reading even the first chapter/lesson I have felt an enormous shift in not only myself but in my interactions with others. I am writing this post today to share this with you, to hope that you will serve yourself and those around you and pick up a copy for yourself so that we can each be a ripple, creating a big wave of change.

I deeply believe there is far too much anger in this world. Any connection we have is a gift so remember to act from LOVE not FEAR or ANGER. One of the biggest Truth bombs in this book for me was a section which talks about how often we are heard MORE when we do not yell, kick and scream…”When you yell people stop listening to what you are saying and only hear the tone of your voice.”

The first responder in a threatening situation is ANGER e.g “why the goodness would you do that you ….” “I hate it when you do ….” (you get the idea) Well guess what, anger is CONTAGIOUS! Many fights can and could have been put out if one person chooses to respond from the second thought of love, understanding and a little patience, to maybe have to accept that they are wrong or to simply put their side across in a calm way.

Picture this as an example. A couple is fighting about (you fill the blank)

PARTNER 1 “far out you drive me crazy you …. why do you have to …..”

PARTNER 2 has two options now lets bring in the first responder which is only more anger adding fuel to this fire… Now lets bring in the second responder

“I can see this really bothers you, I didnt realise… or… sorry for not doing something I agreed to….” again you get the idea…

IMAGINE if we had a world where this second responder could become that FIRST thought. We need to flex this muscle of non violene and chanel our anger, learning our self worth yes, but to go about each connection and situation with peace and understanding in mind…

“Every time you feel great anger, stop and write down who or what caused your feelings and why you reacted so angrily. The goal is to get to the root of the anger. Only when you understand the source can you find a solution.”
― Arun GandhiThe Gift of Anger

PLEASE serve yourself today, lets create many ripples. Grab a copy of The Gift of Anger if you feel called it has many other lessons too that are crucial to our world moving forward.

Big love always

A x

(please contact me on hello@pilatesbyannika.com if you want to chat more about this topic or learn more about holistic health, essential oils or pilates) Take care Angel.

 

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